Anger

one of the major reasons i'm hoping that Lamictal works is that it can relieve anger and irritability. i definitely can get angry to the point of not being able to control it. luckily that doesn't happen very often. i also hold grudges. grudges that fester and consume my thoughts. its all i can think about and sometimes i wonder if by focusing all of my thoughts and energy on being angry that i'm escaping from my head. from thinking about how unhappy and confused i am about my life.

i have a really hard time letting go when someone does something to me and if i have to see that person everyday at work for example then i have a really really hard time getting over it. i've been able to get over things before but i never had to see the person again.

i feel like if i can get my sh*t in order that i might not need to hold on to the anger anymore. and i say might because i'm always afraid that i'll get my hopes up that x,y. or z will be the answer and that once i accomplish it i will still feel like i do now.