Saturday, October 22, 2011

a place of truth

this is my dark journal

i'm tired of thinking of ways to change my life to give it meaning to make it better when there is already so much good - i'm afraid of so many things i feel a constant fear but so far in my life its been manageable. what else is manageable - my anxiety, the subtle linger thoughts of paranoia
what is not so manageable - my depression, my anger


I feel like a foggy headed zombie today - but i'm okay with that because the fuzz in my head is preventing me from feeling all the pain and stress that i put on my self to figure out a way to change things and make everything better

today even as strange as I feel I know it's from the new meds and with those new meds came hope that this will be the cocktail I've been looking for.

I need a place to throw the garbage that are my thoughts when i'm in this kind of place in my head - and i might as well track how i'm doing on my new meds.

Wellbutrin 300mg (taken in am)
Lamictal 25mg (taken in am) - 4th day 
side effects: sore muscles, tired during the day, but awake when i try to go to bed
Ativan .5mg (taken at night as needed to sleep)

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