Social Anxiety & Paranoia

Paranoia
I've always cared about what other people think of me. And when I say "other people" I mean ALL other people. Anyone who meets me, sees me, passes me on the street etc. I think I became paranoid in HS (with good reason since I was being talked about behind my back at the time) and heightened my senses. I can hear things that are spoken very softly - co-workers are always amazed that I can hear the things they say 2 or 3 cubicles away

I know everyone talks about people, including people they really like - I mean I do it too. Most of the time I can handle it since I openly joke about my flaws (I'm ok if you talk about something I already know about myself like I'm WAY too hyper early in the morning and can get annoying)

I am always paranoid about how I am perceived in social situations. I wear blackout sunglasses so I can observe everything around me without people seeing that I am scrutinizing my surroundings. Rationally I'm sure that most people don't even give me a second thought and the ones that do forget about me a minute later. I plan my outfits and do my hair and makeup and look the part of someone who is together and fashionable. I strive to not be thought about negatively - I'm looking for neutral or positive responses.

I am even paranoid about how I am perceived by my husband and we have been together for over 11 years. I still wear makeup to cover blemishes after I've washed my face if he is going to see me. I wont discuss certain things with him (anything embarrassing/gross, my mental health). I know he would never say anything to me but I feel like it would affect the perception he has of me. I get that I should feel comfortable and be myself but its nothing to do with him its just my paranoia

Anxiety
I never had any close friends in HS and would DREAD group work since everyone in my class had someone they liked better than me. It was so embarrassing and awful to be sitting there like the loser with no friends. This really increased my social anxiety and this particular situational anxiety plagued me all through HS, into college and now into my work life.

I hate the idea of running into ANYONE from my HS. I've convinced myself that no one liked me and that if I reached out to anyone they would look at me like "WTF we were never friends in HS WHY are you friending me on fb, talking to me etc". Its almost like I feel like this person and I must have had a fight that I just don't remember and now I'm acting like everything is great and we are totally close
When I think back I can't really remember how I left things with people - I don't think I had any fallings out but at the same time I can't be sure that they liked/like me

I REFUSE to friend people on facebook from my past. My thoughts are they can friend me. I have thought to myself why the hell is this person friending me?! we never even spoke in HS. I get anxious that people might be thinking that about me.